What is Love?

Soul Baring

...silence could be a great protector. I couldn't afford to cry when there was no escape. Talking about my problems would only illuminate the lines of my unhappiness in the cold light of day, showing me...the things I had been able to bear only because they had been half hidden in the shadows. I couldn't expose myself like that.

 This has stuck with me since reading Girl In Translation last year. I guess it's because, for so long, I too had been living a life in silence. It was easier to pretend everything was okay. Now I find myself fighting against the silence.

These past months have been hard. I've been struggling with being in a long-distance relationship. Firefighter and I have plans to be together, but because of certain circumstances (all mine) it isn't going to happen as soon as I thought it would. And I take it out on him a lot. But during our conversations/arguments, I shut down. I don't know what to say. I'm unable to tell him what I want, and it's driving him crazy.

But the truth is that I have no idea what to do to make things better. To make it feel as though we are moving forward and not stuck in this perpetual cycle of visiting each other and then leaving. I'm sick and tired of missing him, and I'm afraid I might drive him away. So I need to work on myself.

Things I need to work on:
1. Patience: we will be together soon
2. Appreciation: in the mean time I need to be grateful for what we have
3. Self-expression: figure out what I want/need
4. Keep my walls down: don't shut Firefighter out because missing him hurts
5. Be happy: with what we have and what we will have

Emotion

It was a look that embodied the fear of happiness that only those who had unexpectedly, unguardedly fallen in love could wear.

 - Elif Shafak The Bastard of Istanbul

Separate but Equal?

The demand for equal rights in every vocation of life is just and fair; but, after all, the most vital rights is the right to love and be loved.

- Emma Goldman

This video made me laugh so much. It shows how people use the most ridiculous arguments to justify discrimination.

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

What hurts the most

The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly one you can never have.

-Søren Kierkegaard

No regrets

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

-Mark Twain