Solitaire

I leave for Bermuda in a couple of hours. I'll be bringing in the New Year there. Over the past couple weeks I have been spending more and more time alone. I have found that being by myself are some of my favorite moments. I am able to escape into my head without interruptions. I love to daydream and reflect on just about everything.

This past year has been life changing. So much good has happened and instead of worrying about what's going to happen next, I've been enjoying each blessing as it arrives. Yesterday I received my scores for the MTEL. That's the Massachusetts Test for Educator Licensure. When I took it back in November I walked out feeling as though I wasted a ton of money. It had been so long since I had taken a test and I couldn't remember so many things I know I learned in college. But somehow I managed to meet eh qualifying score. I guess I retained more information that originally thought.

So at some point I will be trying to get a job teaching English to Middle or High school students. I'm not sure which I prefer, but it shows me that 2010 is going to be even better than 2009. Who would have thought?

Solace in a Book

Firefighter left on Thursday. We had an amazing visit. The first thing we did when he got here was buy him some gloves and a scarf. Although Bermuda does get quite chilly it can never compare to Boston's winter. He was freezing! We were both staying at a hotel in downtown Boston but, a lot of the weekend was spent at my house with my family. It was nice to see him interacting with them. Although he has spent time with them before it has never been as my boyfriend. On Friday we went to my office Christmas party. It was really nice to see everyone all dressed up and in a festive mood. Firefighter looked so hot. Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures but I should be able to get one from work. I'll try to post one later. The rest of the week flew by. We spent a lot of time in downtown Boston, walking around in the cold. I loved being able to spend everyday with him. Falling asleep and waking up next to him everyday was bliss.

Now it's been about about 5 days without him. Saying goodbye at the airport was harder than I thought. I expected sadness but the overwhelming feeling of melancholy and the tears I had to fight so hard to hold back came as a complete surprise. I can't believe how much his leaving has affected me. I rushed back to the hotel and went right back to sleep. When I woke up the first thing I did was start reading.

I spent most of my childhood and teen years buried in a book. No matter what the circumstance I could get lost in a new world. So to keep my mind off of Firefighter and to stop myself from missing him so much, I'm reading The Lovely Bones. I've been wanting to read it for a number of years. Now, with the movie being released in January I want to get it done. So far it's amazing. You are able to walk along with the main character as she follows the lives of the people she left on Earth after her death. It is at once beautiful and painful.

So that's what I'll be doing for the next two of week, until the 31st. That's when I'll be flying to spend New Year's Eve with Firefighter. I can't wait to see him again.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I absolutely hate Ren and Stimpy. It was such a gross cartoon. But for some reason their "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song is exactly want I want to hop around in circles and sing. Firefighter is coming to visit. It's been almost 2 months since we last saw each other. We didn't plan on going this long without one of us visiting but plans fell through last month. Thankfully his flight gets in this Thursday. That's December 10th. That means I have 2 days to finish cleaning. Not that I live in a pig sty. But I have way too many clothes, shoes, purses and books. (What am I saying? You can never have too many books!) I'm running out of space to put it all. So it's all about reorganizing and getting rid of things I haven't used in years.

I don't know why it's so hard to throw things out. Every little thing seems to hold some value...and not monetary. I'm talking sentimental crap. I'll keep a shirt even if it can't fit me anymore because at some point I had great memories wearing it. Or a test in school that I scored an A on, which is a lot. (Not bragging. I just did really well in school. If there was an option to make money doing it, I would be a professional student.) So as you can imagine I have A LOT of stuff. I am just determined to not have a cluttered bedroom when Firefighter gets here.

I am extremly excited. So far I have been the one visiting. Firefighter will finally be on my turf. He'll be the guest and I get to show him around. I don't have a lot of stuff planned. My company Holiday party is on Friday so he'll be accomanying me. I wonder if it's too soon to throw him into an event like that. What do you think?

Long Distance: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

When we first met, Firefighter and I were both adamant and vocal about not getting involved in a long-distance relationship. Neither of us wanted to deal with it. However, I am obviously irresistible so he relented and convinced me to do the same. HA HA! But seriously, I think we both realized that this was more than a summer fling. The feelings we were developing for each other were strong and not something either of us wanted to pass on. So here we are, a little over 4 months to the day we met and in a relationship neither of us thought we wanted. And as with any relationship there are pros and cons. I've decided to channel Clint Eastwood and tell you about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. (Clint is so hot in that movie!)

The Good: Being able to still enjoy lots of "me" time. Don't get me wrong. I would love to spend all my time with Firefighter. But being single gave me a chance to really appreciate the person I was. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but my ex and I got together when I was 18. That meant I spent my entire adult life as one half of a couple. Being single was a chance to really focus on me. I have been able to learn things about myself that I wasn't able to while being in a relationship. Not to mention the fact I can't become totally clingy and needy. How could I with him a million miles away? Another plus is all the things we learn about each other through phone calls, email, talking on facebook chat and even snail mail. Communication is the main ingredient in our twosome and it's great. Since it's all we have for now we make the most of it.

The Bad: Obviously the main problem I have is I don't get to see my boyfriend whenever I want. We don't get to do the normal things that couples do. There are no weekly date nights or even a late night rendezvous. We can't run errands together. It becomes difficult to decide to go do things on your own when you want to be able to share that experience with the person you love.

and finally

The Ugly: Okay. I'm going to be perfectly honest here. Thank goodness for anonymity. No one in my "real world" knows about this blog except Skye, and I tell her everything anyway so it doesn't matter. Here goes: My personal grooming has taken a dive. Yes! I know. Gross! Summer is over and with the cold comes pants, jeans, leggings and tights. So no one ever really sees my legs anymore. Why should I bother shaving them? Firefighter isn't going to see them for a while and I'll wax them before that. But right now I can't be bothered.

My Third Friday Fill-In #149

1. Plans and schedules never seem to go the way I planned.

2. I'm happy when things go perfectly.

3. The last thing I drank was Pepsi, although I promised to only drink water. Damn my addiction.

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my books.

5. I like pineapples, green bell peppers and onions on my pizza.

6. Dear November, please go by quickly so I can see my love in December.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing in my pjs, tomorrow my plans include cleaning my room and Sunday, I want to finish cleaning my room because I can't do it all in one day!