My Romance Novel Boyfriend

This is a bit late but I wanted to blog about my last trip to Bermuda. I apologize in advance for sounding like a sappy, love-sick, puppy. As always I had a spectacular time. Being with Firefighter helped to alleviate some of my anxieties and fears. He is such an amazing guy. If I didn't know him I wouldn't believe someone like him actually existed.
 
The first afternoon there we went to a park that overlooked the ocean. Firefighter brought a bottle of wine and glasses. We spent hours sitting there and talking. It set the tone for the rest of my days there. We took each day at a time, just happy to be in each others' presence.

On mornings, we would either go running on the beach or head to the gym. Some days we would go site seeing, exploring forts on the island. Firefighter made lunch or dinner or both!

Overall we spent a lot of time talking. I learn new things about him every day and it only makes me love him more. He is considerate and kind. We share a lot of the same values and opinions. I feel (get ready to throw up) like we were destined to meet. Everything in my life has been leading me towards him. I feel lucky enough to have that happen twice in my life. The first time was with my best friend Skye.

And what am I doing instead of just enjoying these wonderful moments and treasuring our memories? I wonder if this is all too good to be true.  Everything in life is suddenly moving along the right path... Skye and I are both in graduate school. I have a boyfriend who is thoughtful and considerate. My family is healthy and happy. I'm just afraid of everything coming crashing down. Sorry I'm ending on such a cynical note. I'm trying!!!!

Back to School

Yes! You read the title correctly. I am once again a student! On May 17, 2010 I started my Masters in Teaching program. It feels absolutely great being in a classroom again. Posing for my student ID, way too expensive textbooks, pens, pencils, the discussions in class, lectures...I love it ALL!!!

I must admit. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. It is a one year program so I am going to be very busy. I have 4 classes to complete this summer. I am halfway through the first 2 and it has only been 3 weeks. Before they end I have 2 oral presentations, several writing assignments and lessons plans due. I am trying to take things step by step because if I sat and just thought about how much I have to do in the next 3 weeks I think I'll cry.

In the September I start a year long internship at a high school. In October, I am expected to take over one of the classes!!! Yikes! Although I have my BA in English I don't think I recall much. How am I expected to teach a bunch of teenagers things I have long forgotten? I have a hard time just editing this blog!

The silver lining is I will be graduating in May 2011. Well, hopefully. That depends on whether I do a good job and pass all my classes. If all goes well, I will have my very own classroom in September 2011. Those poor, poor kids. LOL!

I almost forgot to mention. I  usually buy my books from Borders. They have a free membership rewards program and they offer coupons weekly. However, I discovered Amazon.com offers textbooks for a lot cheaper than my school's bookstore. I was also able to get free shipping. Just thought I would share this bargain tidbit with you.  :o)

Runaway

I'm an eternal pessimist. No matter how hard I try to just live in the moment and enjoy the life I have right now, I can't. I am always thinking about the worst case scenario.

It has been a little over 7 months since Firefighter and I decided to make things official. Last week I went to Bermuda to spend the week with him. The week before I left I had a panic attack. It suddenly hit me...I am completely head over heels over this man. As each day goes by I grow more in-love with him. I actually want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can picture our lives together. These are scary words for me.

I have to admit there is a part of me ready to run. To end it now and save myself what could become heartbreak in the future. Love is not something I deal with well. It terrifies me and makes me uncomfortable. In my life I have tried my best to not grow attached to anyone. There are only a few friends in my life right now who I would be devastated if we lost contact. I protect my heart the way some people protect the valuables.

Trust is another. And although I do trust him, my self-doubt and past relationship makes me wonder what would keep him from straying. I know I'm setting myself up for failure. But in my experience I have learned that besides myself there are only 3 people I can truly count on: my mother, my sister and my best friend, Skye. I almost ran away from her friendship! I guess I should learn from that. I gave myself a chance to let someone in and I can't imagine what my life would be without her.

Laws of Attraction

I have always wondered what it is that makes one person attractive to someone and not to another. When I first met my ex I was 16 and nothing about him drew me to him. But as we spent more time together his personality started to win me over and 2 years later we were dating.

I was instantly attracted to Firefighter. The way he looked, stood, walked...everything about him seemed irresistible.

So how important are looks? It is the first thing we see when we look at someone. I have always argued that they aren't everything. As it did with my ex, a person can grow on you. And somehow, as you grow to admire them they become more attractive.

If Firefighter did indeed turn out to be a jerk or possessed qualities that I did not admire I am sure I would have been turned off. (Well, I hope I would have been able to resist his magnetism.) But everything about him was appealing. And as I began spending more time with him and learning about him I fell deeper.

What do you guys think? Does what a person look like affect whether or not you date him/her?

MIA

For all of you who actually read this blog and care, I apologize for my lack of updates. My computer has been on the fritz since the beginning of the year. However, I am planning on picking it up today after work. This will be the fourth time I've gone to get it! Let me recap my horrible experience.

It stopped working when I accidentally dropped it off Firefighter's bed. When I took it in to Sony Style Backstage Repair I was told that the only thing wrong was the hard-drive. They promised to replace it and mail it back to me. (Thank goodness for warranty!!!) As promised, two weeks later I received a box in the mail with my laptop in it. The hard-drive seemed to be fixed but the screen was messing up and it would restart sporadically. 

That led to my 2nd trip to Sony. This time my graphics card needed to be replaced. So I left it with them once again. This time I didn't hear anything from them for 2 weeks so I decided to call. I was told I could come get it. I went to retrieve it, got home, tried to turn it on and it wouldn't start up. I was pissed.

On my third trip to Sony I was told I probably needed a new motherboard. Now, more than three weeks later I had to call again! I was told I can come get it. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it finally works properly.

Now I'm getting back to work. Hope to blog again soon!